NAILED IT.

If you know me, you know that i am not that much of a Topshop fan. I haven't bought anything from there in years and years. I think the last time was probably about two or three years ago and i think it was a pair of jeans, which have now been donated to my wonderful sister. Anyways, i am really excited about these things. And it IS my birthday this week so if i can't treat myself now then i don't know when i can! I am not a fan of the clothes, not because i don't like the style or the fashion direction or anything like that, i just really am not a fan of wearing shit that a million and one other people will be wearing but i have an absolute weakness for their jewellery - mainly their rings. I adore them. Any ring that is massive is a winner to me but, if you don't know already, i am a turquoise and deep green freak.

I can't wait for my weekly shopping trip with my best friend this week. It is literally my weekly highlight. It is just lovely to walk around with her and her little girl and to just distract. I think that, when i am in a deep Depression like this, distraction is the key. Whether i am painting my nails (see later in this post) eating (definetly a negative one at the minute), drawing, writing, tweeting, facebooking, doing my makeup or whatever, it just helps to force my mind to do something else. I don't like to admit this though because i don't like to give all of the countless CPNs and Mental Health Workers to have the satisfaction that they were right.

with the heart tips.

Tonight, for example, i spent hours doing my nails. Literally. I started off wanting to do a bit of a valentines day mix. I saw this nail post and wanted to give them a try. I wanted to have a go at doing some roses on my nails for the first time though and they just didn't mix very well together. As you can see, they just didn't look right. I would have felt silly to leave the house with these nails and decided to save the heart tips for another day.

 My nails are not actually going to be like this for that long anyway because i am going to be buying this beautiful new nail polish when i go shopping later in the week. I am SO excited. I want to think of a way to mix it up a little but we will have to wait and see what happens there :) I spotted it in-store on a model in a picture and knew instantly that it needed to be a part of my life, immediately!

The finished rose nails :)

 I ended up redoing the nails with the tips on and the finished result looked much better. I really like them and am excited to work on the roses and make them look even better next time :)

Part of the reason for doing something a little different today is that i was looking for a cutical stick and having some serious problems with locating the one i bought the other day. I had to go in to 'the box'. Its like an endless pile of odds and ends like an old nail extension set, endless lip balms, nail files, cuticle oils, cotton buds, tape and goodness knows what else.

Well, i went in there knowing i would be digging around for ages. I didn't find a cuticle stick but i found so many other things. To be precise, i found seven nail varnishes, five lipsticks, my old favourite Body Shop lipbalm, my glass nail file and a nail art brush that i thought i had lost. not only that though, I FOUND MY 219 brush! I thought i had lost it at my Mum and Dad's house and if this would have been the case, i would have never ever seen it ever again. My sister has a dog that likes to chew anything and everything in the world so WOO for finding that! I can't wait to use it tomorrow!

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It may strike you that this is a 'weird' post because i am not talking about feelings but, as i mentioned before, distraction is the word of the day. I can't cope with anything else. I don't want to talk about my (still very very low) mood and so this is my explanation.

I want to take my blog in a different direction. I am very much about expressing myself and about not feeling any shame about my mental health problems but i also want to stress how important it is for me to reduce the stigma surrounding mental illness.

 I am no and i will never again be ashamed of my mental health problems. I just feel that its important for me to be able to discuss whatever i want to discuss on this blog. If i want to talk rubbish and chat about my latest nail art or what book i might be reading, then this is what i am going to do. Just so you know, i am going to try and mix things up a little because i am boring myself so goodness knows what it must be like for all of you.

Its a case of this is me. All parts of me. Its important for people to be able to accept all parts of all people...simple.