Merry Kissmass

My Kissmass lights are now up and i am starting to feel really festive. I wrapped a lorry load of presents last night and it made me realise how prepared i am but i always struggle with numbers at Kissmass. Not in a weight way or anything like that, don't worry. Not another one of those blogs right now, i'm afraid!

I struggle with numbers because, as wrong as it is, Kissmass is basically all about presents. Well, in my atheist/agnostic family, it always has been. I mean, Mum doesn't like to say she doesn't believe in God but she totally does. Dad is a complete, total and utter agnostic but i think that he probably just likes to say that because he likes to think that he's being different. My dad is about as far away from the 'crowd' of normal society as you can get, without having a mental illness. Lol.

So yeah, Kissmass has always been about presents and it still is really. I have bought a lot because i did start early but, as much as i hate this with an absolute passion, i sort of get scared that the number of presents i buy for people will somehow be translated into the amount of love i have for them. I guess that is the message that we are given because you always get more presents from your Mum and Dad, a couple less from your Gran and then maybe one or two from your friends. Then there are those people that you DO love but you don't really get presents for because...well, i don't know why really.

Like, i felt like i had bought loads for my sister and LK but i don't know...it doesn't look like much and most of the stuff is little trinket-y crap but quite a lot of thought has gone into all the presents if that makes sense?

I don't know, i just feel like i have really tried this year...

hmm...

Last night, i put up all of my decorations. When i say 'all', i actually have only decorated my bedroom because it is where i spend most of my time lol. My bed is basically a sleigh. 

I love it. It is so pretty and cute. I love fairy lights. I think i am going to leave these ones up all year long and just take the tinsel off after the New Year.

Speaking of the New Year, i am SO looking forward to LK coming down. New Years Eve is going to be nice to spend it at mine without the pressure of being out in public and getting ready and all that shit. I don't know the proper plan yet but i know that we are going to have a wonderful time. Last year was really nice as well but i cried whilst i was getting ready and then when we went out, it didn't have the proper nostalgic new year feeling that. To me, when the clock strikes midnight, you should be hugging the ones you love and watching the fireworks. I don't do parties at New Year really because i hate fireworks. I love to watch them but they scare me too much to go to any sort of function where there might be the possibility of explosives haha.

This year is the first Kissmass where i have known exactly what i want to do and have had definite plans of where i am going and who i am going to be with and stuff.

I know for a fact that i will be going over to my Mum and Dad's house and spending Kissmass Eve and Day with them and then probably going home on Boxing Day. I don't know though. It depends on whether i can get someone to feed Twinkle or whatever. If i can, i might be able to stay a couple of extra days which i would absolutely LOVE. I guess we will have to see what happens. I really would prefer to stay for two or three days though, especially after how nice it was last Kissmass. My family is proper screwed up though, an absolute therapist's daydream. They even told me that if i needed to, i could vom last year. If only that was my main worry this year. LOL. I luvmalyf.

I went over to theirs the other night though and we had a 'dinner' thing where i guess it was a bit of a trial run of Kissmass dinner and, you know what? It was fine. Once i got past the panic of my Dad putting mashed potatoes on my plate and did the completely socially unacceptable thing of dishing them out to my brother and sister, i was fine. It was okay. I burnt my hand while i was 'sterilising' the knife and fork though LOL.

I can make all of that crap easier on the day though because i can weigh out and prepare all my crap if i am in a big fat panic but who knows, it might be okay. I am trying not to worry because i know that my day will be made nice and happy by seeing them all open their presents.

Its all very exciting!

Me and my sister just end up getting fucked out of our heads these days. Last Kissmass, we thought we did well waiting for 10am but my Mum didn't seem to agree. 'You two! You need to wait till you have had something to eat!' WHY? That makes it take longer to get drunk haha. We keep buying random bottles of vodka and being like 'oooh. we'll save that for Kissmass'

Gotta love the vodka. I seem to have myself an addiction to buying it but i barely drink owt. I pour myself one drink and then i can't be arsed. Like last night, i had some wine. I was well looking forward to it and all i managed was one glass. I poured a second but didn't drink it. If you know me, you will know that this is COMPLETELY out of character for me. i am normally the drunken lout, passed out in the corner, pissing myself and pouring drinks down my boobs. Weird change. Weird. Weird. Weird.

Another thing that is going to make my Kissmass easier is my Dad. He has never properly got his head around the 'eating' thing. Nowadays, he gets it. He really understands. He even joins in with my flippant inappropriate banter. Like, the other day, he decided to buy me this ring because 'we can tell your mum we grabbed a bite to eat' and yeah...he just makes shit jokes every so often but he also recognises how bad things are at the minute. He is a cutie. So is my Mum though but she sorta doesn't get it properly if that makes sense. She tries, bless her but i guess some people just wont ever understand.

God this turned out to be a right random load of shite. Hah.