I love life. I hate life.

I wish i could plan blogs. My life is just so interesting and hilarious that i can't ever just pick one thing to blog about. It is just too difficult. The first thing i do want to do is to tell you a few cool things from the past twenty-four hours.
1 - I woke up this morning, still drunk, on the sofa and having wee'd myself. Mint.
2 - I shaved my vagina for the first time in eleven weeks. (My 'real' one, not my coat).
3 - I did the cotton-eyed-Joe dance in the middle of Sheffield Fargate, to an audience, and a live band.
4 - I got drunk three times and suffered two hangovers.
5 - I wee'd a bit too hard on the toilet and sprayed it all over the floor.

Mint.

My new favourite word is 'mint' and 'boom' and erm...

Anywho, back to the topic, Lil-Dawg. Errr.

Eating disorders? hmmm. Oh yeah. I remember. So, today, i have been thinking about the ways in which i can lose weight (shocker, eh?) before my appointment at the eating disorder (ED) clinic. Hahahaha. The irony and pure fucking idiocy of this disorder is ridiculous. I concluded that after today, i am never eating again, again. And i have scheduled in a laxative binge tomorrow, which means that calories today do not matter. Now, either i lose at least 20lbs before the 12th of April, or i cancel my appointment and decide that cake is way more important that 'recovery'.


Geri Halliwell was on that Piers Morgan thing tonight and i feel sad. I didn't watch it, Dog no! I did, however, get fucking mad. I feel like shit right now and celebrities playing the 'I was closer to death than you' game is just rubbing vinegar in my wound. I am so sick of that game. Plus, if Robbie Williams saved me, id have ended up killing myself anywho. Like, seriously, your Bulimia was cured by a druggie? Are you trying to get a story in Pick Me Up?

I have mood swings like a bitch right now. Today has been a good example of this. I have been giddy as a bitch all day and then i came crashing. Oh my Dog. I googled 'mood swings' and it mentioned something about ADHD. I really hope i have ADHD because then they prescribe you speed and speed makes you lose weight. Dog, i would bum being speedy. I wont lie to you (LK ;)), i have been tempted to go on speed many times, to aid weight loss. Erm.

On a side note, i bum the 'Would you rather...' game, and Florence & The Machine.

I have a question. Why, at school, did my teacher always say that you should never ever use a comma and then say 'and' afterwards. Is that an actual rule? I think it is stupid if it is. I mean, i know how to spell and i know that i use small i's a lot but there is reason for this. I can smell (haha, spell) because i am good. I put little 'i's' instead of big ones because when i was in the heaven (also known as Anorexia *spittts*), i didn't want to be big and so 'i' made more sense than 'I'. hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah. I haven't typed that before. I only ever explained it to Condom but she gets me. Thank fuck.

The end.