Priorities

It is nearly over. This week has been terrible. Today is going to be called the end. I can't even think of a life without my sister in it and him doing what he did stole a part of her. I have seen that part again this past couple of days. Not all of it, but something shone in that court room yesterday and i felt priviledged to witness it. 

I never thought that i would ever be so close to my sister. She is one of the most inspiring people you will ever meet. She has this aura around her that put people at ease, it allows them to open up and to stop pretending. It helps them to drop their everyday masks and to reveal themselves and to see that they can be accepted for who they truly are around her. People in her life should feel honoured and humbled. Many people do feel humbled in her presence. I know this because i am one of those people.

The verdict of the trial is due to be read out at any moment. I feel nervous so i can't even imagine how she must be feeling. I am not with her today. Some people went down for the whole day to listen to the barristers giving their case and to the judge's thoughts and stuff. I knew i would NOT have been able to sit there and listen to that.

All through the week, i have managed to push a lot of feelings to the back of my mind; into a secret room back there where they can be hidden from others and hidden from myself. I didn't want to let them into the forefront of my mind because i didn't want to be a cloud over the day. I didn't want my own past and my own feelings to have any sort of influence on those of my sister.

I am so proud of her and of how she has conducted herself throughout this week and throughout these months.

I love her and i know that, no matter what, she is one seriously fucking amazing girl. WOW.