I am ashamed.

My weekend has been shameful, i am afraid to say. It pains me to admit that i have wasted a full 48 hours of precious time and i have accomplished nothing worthwhile. In fact, so much shame has fallen upon me after this awful weekend!

Let's ignore the calorific content that had already tainted the days from the very beginning. I don't wish to talk too much about the sadness that followed the food and then the food that followed the sadness. I am pretty sure that you will understand what i mean with this if you too have an eating disorder.

It started yesterday with the laxatives and all of the normal proverbial. I was backwards and forwards to the toilet and i was toing and froing between the conscious and the unconscious world of sleep and the living.

In the evening, i decided to have a drink. Yum. I was craving me some wonderful White Zinfandel. I swear, i could bum that drink. Well, if it wasn't considered to be so obscene haha. Yes, so i got myself up, threw on some adequately vile clothes from my equally disgusting wardrobe and set off on my journey. You can barely call the trip from my front door to the off license a 'journey', to be fair. It is more of a hop, skip and a jump. If that.

I arrived there and looked up at the chilled wines. There was naff all. All i could see was red wine (i hate the stuff. I would rather drink cat piss), dry white (again, the same applies) and cherry lambrini.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You heard it here first, folks! I RESORTED TO DRINKING CHERRY LAMBRINI. hahahahaha. My life is hilarious. I cannot stop laughing.

Needless to say, i didn't get drunk but i did like it. It is very cherry-y. Anything cherry flavoured is a winner to me, including these bad boiis.

Cherry flavour sour MUTHAFUCKERS. Oh my shit. You have been warned that (any) consumption of these sweets will result in Sour Face Disease.

Don't believe me? Photographic evidence is needed? Okay. Done.

and the apple ones are even worse. Well, we couldn't decide whether they were worse or whether the effects felt more intense because our tongue was basically SLASHED to pieces from the demonic chezza ones. You be the judge. But this was the Sour Face Disease symptom that we experienced.

Sexy, no?

I got sidetracked then, telling you about how sexy those sweets were. I don't believe i am feeling as ashamed anymore. These pictures make me smile. And they make me realise that i should be very very grateful that the wind didn't change because otherwise, we would be up shit creek without a paddle.

That is all <3