YoureLateForTea

I am just taking a break from cleaning. It's amazing just how much of an effect that having a broken thumb can have on your ability to function at any sort of normal sort of speed. It has just taken me nearly an hour to wash the dishes because i kept getting such bad pain that i had to stop. My hand went purple because the band that was making my gloves waterproof was cutting the circulation off. Now, that's not exactly my idea of fun, but i can think of worse things to happen and worse things to be doing. This broken thumb shit is making me feel like a right sack of poo. I have not taken any laxatives for four whole days, which is making my anxiety particularly bad, i haven't seen my friend in a short while and i am convinced that, because i haven't taken lax, i am going to look stupendously different compared to when we last saw each other. I would love to be able to just meet her tomorrow and it all be okay, but it is just not going to happen. I hate my mind, i hate the way that my disorder makes me feel and the way it makes me see how other people see me. Hmm...?

So yes, tomorrow, i was meant to have a blood test but i am going to cancel that first thing in the morning because there is no point in me going when i haven't taken laxatives in so many days. I will just try to get another appointment. I know how stupid it sounds, but i am not going for a blood test that i KNOW is going to come back normal

Right, i need to have a nap

i could cry from exhaustion