Whippeeeeee!
I get my hair done tomorrow. EEESH, it feels like it has been ages and ages since my pre-Florida appointment. I am starting to really get annoyed with it now, so i am SO glad i booked in for this week :D
So, wave goodbye to the horrid coloured 'blonde' on the ends, which looks coppery and gross in 'real life' and say 'Auf Wiedersehn' to the fringe that is absolutely begging to be trimmed. Its an eyelash skimmer at the minute and is causing me to have random twitches when a stray hair comes along and pokes me in the eye. YAY for scissors and bleach, that's all i can say!
In all of my visits to the hairdressers, i have never felt like i feel when i go to this one. In the past, i have always been insanely uncomfortable and self conscious. In this one, i can be myself and am just chilling. A bit of 'me' time is nice, especially when i am relaxed and not worried about little things like how the mirror opposite is showing me from a different angle and my arse looks weird and rawr-dee-rawr-dee-rawr. Load of banana turd.
I went to my bloodtest this morning and then popped down to Morissons to grab me some pop. And some rainbow drops. And some Haribos. Oh Haribos! Why do you mock me so?! They get me drunk as a skunk on the sugar and then make me have a come-down like a mo' fo'. Today has been shite in the sense that it's lasted seventeen and a half years and i am tired and slightly down in the dumps, to say the least. I am not being moany, just documenting it.
I haven't done my therapy homework and have to make a decision whether i am even going to go. She wants me to and says i 'do deserve the treatment because there is no doubt that the nature of my disorder is severe' but i don't feel like i deserve it. I don't feel like i deserve very much at the moment, if anything. I just don't feel like i deserve 'owt.
Oooh that was a bit of a turn and a half!
Anyways, no mood chats now. Lets get ourselves together!
Here, have a picture of the shoes i am saving up for, after this week is over with :)
SEXY, huh?
You don't have to answer that. Of bleedin' course they are, plonker!
hey, I never thought I deserved treatment. I was desperate to change but couldn't as I didn't feel worthy of health. But I couldn't keep hurting my friends and family. Nobody deserves to die, or be ill. From all the lovely comments and advice you leave on my blog I am certain that you do deserve health and to be happy.
ReplyDeleteI used to knock therapy homework, pretend, make it up. But when I started to try and when I told my therapist about feeling undeserving we started to work through it. Recovery is a very slow process and it takes time to believe in yourself. xxx