exhausted

I am really sick and tired of this now. I am bored.
It's half five in the morning and yet again, i have not been to sleep. This is too familiar and, quite frankly, i am bored of it. It is absolutely ridiculous that i can't seem to get any decent quality sleep until i am so tired that i can no longer stay stood up. In fact, even then i don't get a good sleep. I just go to bed, maybe sleep for an hour or two and then wake up and struggle to get back off to the land of nod.

Its not even that i am not tired. I am absolutely cream crackered. I've always been someone who LOVES sleep. True fact. When i was a baby, i used to sleep for eighteen hours a day. My Mum got told off by the health visitor for feeding me in my sleep but she couldn't get me to stay awake long enough to have a bottle.
I am so fed up of this that i actually was sort of looking forward to being ill from this cold because i thought it would make me sleepier and just make me generally more tired. I always have slept loads more when i have been ill.

Now, i am just in bed, wishing the hours away until i can start getting ready.

Todays plan is seeming so daunting and i have had the thought to cancel my appointment and cancel seeing my bff just so i can sleep and lax and sleep but there's no point. My appointment is important really and im not going to be able to stay asleep anyway so i may as well go and meet Lucie afterwards.


I am proper bored of having to be so lonely and awake during the hours where everybody else is not around for me to text or for me to contact somehow. I dont know, it is just really boring and just...meh

So, this morning i have an appointment for CBT and then, straight afterwards, i am meeting Lucie and having a day of shopping. Then, tonight i will be sleeping at Chantelle's so that we can go to Meadowhall early in the morning.

I am stealing any sleeping pill i can find in my Mum and Dad's house and i am going to take the double dose and GET A NIGHT OF SLEEP
I don't know what i would do without the internet