I am going to do 'Happy Mondays' with Chantelle and Alice today and i am looking forward to it. Even when i meet those two, i feel anxious and that doesn't half piss me off. So, i do have that level of anxiety inside and i am trying to get rid of it with my normal coping strategies. One of those being a nice cold can of coke. Honestly, you don't understand how weird i thought my therapist was when she said, 'i think we need to talk about your relationship with Coke'. Firstly, it sounds like i am on crack or something and secondly, WHO THE FLIP has heard of someone using Diet Coke as a way to cope with their emotions? Well, i do. Its something i have done for a long, long time. It started off as the normal appetite suppressant crap but i use it all the time now. It is kind of like a safety blanket. You will never see me without a can or bottle of coke in my bag and if you do, i will be on my way to the shop. Literally.
I drink more than most people could imagine - maybe 4 or 5 litres a day these days. However, it used to be 8!
Tangent!
So, i am going to go and meet them and have a few drinks. I am major struggling with what to drink on Mondays though. This is a weekly thing we do. It gives all three of us a chance to catch up and just to connect with one another. Its a nice little routine thing. :) I like it. Technically, Alice is a friend of Chantelle's but i love her like she was my own friend. She is one seriously sweet and wonderful little lady. I love her :)
Tomorrow, i have a blood test in the morning. DON'T EVEN ASK! I know i had one next week but the banana faces at the surgery did not label my blood or some crap like that. So i have to go back in. Wonderful. I won't go in to it but i have spoken about how triggering i find blood tests in the past so yeah...i am really rather nervous.
After the blood test, i will have enough time to pop home for a quickie and then, THEN, I AM GOING TO MEET CONDOM!!!!!!!
I am so beyond excited. I haven't seen her for well over a year now and can't wait to hug her and to get drunk and just to be with her for the day :) SO excited, pal. :) Lots and lots has been going on in our lives since the last time we saw eachother and so it will just be non-stop-twenty-five-thousand-words-a-minute-gossip, which is my absolute FAVE!
EEEK. I am so excited. Like, i have not even got the words.
The wardrobe is scaring me today. I have no idea what to wear and this problem is getting worse and worse. I am really noticing fluctuations in my thighs, depending on water and shite. But it's getting harder and harder to try to find something. I don't want to cover them in a baggy style because then people will think i am even bigger but then my tights show the shape too much so i am trying to overcompensate with other things. Gosh, it's driving me mad.
Chantelle wants me to wear my Levis shirt though, so i might wear that and cut off my legs...
why didn't i think of that before ;)
#imbeingsarcastic
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