Distraction is the lord of life.

I have painted my nails, again. Whenever i feel some sort of mood swing coming or unhealthy urge, i keep reaching for the bloody nail colours and nail art tools. It's driving me insane because i am anally obsessed with getting them perfect. If they aren't perfect in my eyes, then i can't even leave the house. Its driving me insane. hhjgfjshgs

ignore the cheeks :''/

These ones seem to look nicer in the picture than they do in real life. In real life, i am needing to take it all off and start again. Damn obsessive tendencies!

Tomorrow, i am in for the day and then the plan is to go and meet my sister and her/our friend, Alice for some drinkypoos. I am kinda nervous because for the past three times we have been out together, i have come home and binged. NOT doing that this time. NOOOOO. It always ends up with me feeling really really fml for days and days afterwards and fucks up my entire week. I can't be doing with that shit this week. No thank you!
Other than that, i have nothing planned for the daytime, which is kind of a relief after the foreign amount of time i spent out of my little hermit hole last week. It's weird to explain my ways to some people when it comes to explaining the number of days i leave the house. Last week, my CPN (ugh) was trying to say its really good that my Agoraphobia and social isolation was minimal. LOL
That's a fucking laugh a minute.
Firstly, Agoraphobic since WHEN? I am not scared of being out. I am scared of my body leaving the comfort of my bed, my pyjamas, my front door etc. But i am not afraid in the way somebody with Agoraphobia would be... I get pissed off when therapists pluck a diagnonsense from somewhere and decide to generalise it to the reason you don't like leaving the house. I am not in denial when it comes to what is 'wrong' with me but i know for a fact i aint Agoraphobic. Bloody banana.

Tuesday is the bloodtest to check whether my kidneys are up to scratch and make sure i don't have to have the cream scoop-age! haha. And then i am set to meet a friend but i'm not sure how likely that is at the minute... I mean, i am up for it but i understand that sometimes, other things get in the way and i am okay with that :)

I want to try to get out and about this week. Not insane amounts but just, i would like to get out of the house a bit more - even if it's only going for a half-hour walk. I kind of want to start up my jogging again. I loved doing that... I wouldn't know how to start though. I want to do it like how people do with marathons but i don't know how it works. Help? I was thinking of looking for an app for my iPhone. hmm...don't watch this space on that one!


Hmm. I have finally listed my Dr Martens on a local forum and am hoping that they sell for a decent price. I NEED SOME MONEY! I have an appointment this week at the hairdressers and also, the new MAC collection comes out.
You know how i always go on and on about the latest makeup collections? Well, i will stop myself this time...

KEEP CALM AND HAVE A FAB LOLLY :)
(i am obsessed)