We did it!

After getting off of the plane in Manchester, Chantelle and I both went to get our bags. We waited for what seemed like ages until we finally saw the lovely scarves that we had tied to the bags, so as to be able to recognise them easily, making their way around the carousel.

We picked up the bags and then did a big high-five.

We did it.

We went to Florida, around Florida and came all the way back by ourselves, no problemo.

I miss her

We went back to hers for a little bit so we could give out gifts and stuff. Then, BAM. Home i trot.

I had a quick nap because i am lagging to feck.

Tony obviously wants to see me and spend some time with me and i am proper struggling with this. I feel like i haven't had any time to myself in ages. Not that i needed it when i was with Chant but just, you know when you're not used to something? Well, i am not used to being with people all the time, that's all.

The flight back was horrible. I was a proper cliche of an ED. I had to hide under my blanket and had a good cry when dinner was served. It was so strong smelling and just really disgusting. YUCK.

I have to pop out to Mozzas just to pick up some pop because the only thing i have it a big bottle of Diet Coke and it tastes disgusting. So disgusting that i am sat here drinking water! Bleurgh. WHO AM I?!

I need to sort out this damage. I can't stop crying when i look at myself and when i think of all the stupid comments i am going to get from people and everything

My Mum told me i looked 'healthier' the other day and i cried for hours.

If you're reading this and were thinking of saying that to me, don't bother because i am proper teetering on the edge of a proper ED breakdown right now. I feel fecking sick at the thought of what i have done to my body. And i just want to lock myself away.

I am not even depressed though, just in body. I am sure my mood will crash and i am expecting that but only because it always does when i come back from a holiday. It's what i expected. That's okay though, i know how common it is!

I miss Chantelle. x