Peace

I'm still getting back in to taking my pills after running out of them when I was on holiday so it's no surprise that my mood is a little...different. I'm not having the problems I had last time but I am still having some nausea from taking them again. I got really bad discontinuation syndrome when I stopped last time. To the point where I was passing out, I was going dizzy, I was vomiting and yeah, you get the gist! After reading back the post I wrote yesterday, I realised that the restart of the meds could be the reason for my feeling so poorly. It's been similar today but mainly towards the end of the day.
Like now, for example, I'm in bed feeling really sick. I keep having to go to the toilet to just make sure I'm not actually sick
I might try just taking 40mg tomorrow. I just don't want to have to start right back down at 20 again because that just takes forever for me to get up to my dosage of 60mg all over again. 60 is the perfect dose for me, it seems, which is a relief because its the absolute maximum that they will give on these meds.

I did some cleaning today which always has a kind of soothing effect on me. You know how they say 'tidy house, tidy mind'? I guess that that is partly true for me and o recognise this because when I am having a bad time, it can work as a really helpful distaction from the thoughts and can be one of the few things I can actually focus on.

I decided to take a little time to do some tlc tonight, too.
I made time to just Take a bath, have a little soak and do some exfoliating and moisturising. The latter I did find difficult because it was the point when I was most aware of my size and was being my most critical. I did it though and I do feel better, now that I am clean and fresh :)
Plus, nothing beats the feeling of getting in to some nice clean bedsteads and relaxing off to sleep
Let's just hope that it works that way tonight and that all of this tlc will have had a nice effect on me and will have lifted my mood for the morning...