My life is changing.

Its amazing what a little shift can do to your life. Its crazy, really.

As i mentioned, i am now in a relationship with a man who is really making me feel something different. Not love, GOD, no! Its only been two weeks for goodness sakes! But its made me feel something already.

We all have the love from friendships and we all know that the care we give and recieve from those people is something truly special but i had forgotten how it feels to have someone care for you romantically. He makes me laugh in a way that many people would not even imagine. He is prepared to try to understand my eating disorder, even though he has no idea when it comes to the subject of mental health.

'I want to bring you out of this little shell. You can't stay in there when you are so gorgeous. I want to show you off...' This sounds like he wants to show me off in a physical sense (shh, ED. stfu) but he doesn't mean it like that. Let's keep body talk out of this section of my post because, as we all know, that tends to confuse us, and confuse our writing...

He wants to be able to do all of the 'normal' things that people do when they're in relationships. Take me for a drink and have the place also sell food, not have me counting the calories of drinks, be able to cook for me, be able to take me for a meal, feed me things. Just to be able to bask in the beauty of spontaneity. 'Lets order something to eat' is not something that anybody would be able to suggest to me whilst out for a drink. I need warning. I need to check the menus, check everything out before i even consider doing anything.

We had some issues with me arranging some contraception and he got peeved at my refusal to go on the contraceptive pill. I was annoyed with him because he couldn't understand my reasons for not taking it and he became annoyed with me that my reasons are so silly. I basically am terrified of gaining weight so have decided to opt for another form of contraception that is much scarier for me and much more intrusive. I just felt annoyed that he didn't seem supportive and he was finding it difficult to understand my ed logic. In the end, i think i managed to give him some sort of insight into the craziness of my mind and his desperate need to gain some sort of understanding has drawn us close, which is sweet. Aww.

Enough to make you sick, eh?! haha

Anyways, things are ticking along rather nicely. I have even agreed to go out this weekend with him, his friend and my wee sister. That should be nice. Plus, this next week is going to be all jam packed with planning for Florida and happy times. I am SO excited for the Mickey Mouse adventure! So beyond excited!

Lovely times.

ignore the body in this picture, please.

:)