I am really aware of the amount i rabbit on about my sister and how much i love her but it is just such a beautiful relationship that we have and she is literally my whole world.
As you will probably know, we are going on holiday. We went and booked it on Wednesday. Florida, get ready for us! The park tickets are all paid for. The holiday is paid for. The clothes are bought. All i have to do now is find a suitcase, call the insurance people to make sure they are aware of the medication i am on and that i am disordered. I need to go and exchange some clothes. Some are too big (went a bit crazy with the oversizing lol) and some are too small (FML). I am excited though, i really am.
I am just really really scared. So scared.
I have been to Florida before but not with an eating disorder. I haven't been on holiday in ahout five years. I haven't been somewhere hot with such bad body issues. I am just scared of how i will cope. I don't want to overheat and end up getting poorly. I don't want to ruin anything. I don't want to get a tan.
God sake.
I am terrified that a tan will make me more healthy looking. Eurgh. Gay.
I am also getting angry because were going on a magical holiday, to a place that is bloody BOILING and why shouldn't i want a tan? WHY?! eurgh
I am so pale. And i mean i am very fair skinned. I am quite isolated so i don't really get very much sun.
Shut up, ED. Just be quiet and give me two weeks of peace.
if only...
Sounds to me like you might need some betablockers if anxiety has already kicked in :(
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry about expressing you and Chantelle's relationship - it's good to see 2 sisters who aren't at each others throats!
If you're stuck for a suitcase, I could probably find one you could borrow.
As far as a tan goes, the sun might do you a bit of good, but you should find out what the peak times are for sun and aim to be in the shade at that time - like in Europe it tends to be between 11 and 3ish when it's at its hottest. Not sure whether it would be the same on America?
If it's as hot as you say it is, then it's America, they have this thing called air conditioning, and I'm sure Disney have some attractions inside away from the sun!
Try not to worry, hell, try to focus on the positives like you and your lickle sis are going to the mecca of all things cute and cuddly :)
xx