The ear drops made me deaf!

Slight over-exaggeration in the title there, but only ever so slightly.

I got home from the doctors with the hope that these eardrops would make everything better and that i would be able to hear a bit better. I have been going crazy with this bloody stupid flipping blockage and now that i know its a big ball of wax (i know it's just so sexy but we all have it!), i can't get the thought of it being in my ear and i just want to fish it out immediately. Chance would be a fine thing! I followed the instructions to the letter, apart from leaving the drops in there a little bit longer. The way that they work is by softening the wax to allow it to be able to move easily and hopefully come out naturally. Its made it worse.

I squirted the pippet (are they called that even when they're made out of glass?) of liquid in to my ear canal and just lay there, on my side, for about half an hour. It says to lay for about ten minutes but i was watching the latest Deadliest Catch anyways so i didn't have anywhere i needed to get up and go to. Then, i sat up, wiped the excess fluid with a cotton pad and nothing. I couldn't hear a thing out of my right ear. I got a cotton bud and had a little poke (idiot!) but to no avail. Some gunk did come out but i still can hardly hear. I think i have about 40% hearing in my right ear compared to normal. Its making me want to bloody scream!

So i have decided to sack off the drops. I am meant to use them four times a day but if this is how they are going to leave me then i am not playing.

Chantelle told me about some ear candles they sell in Holland & Barrett so i am going to go and get some of those tomorrow. All you have to do is light the end of them and they cause a chimney like effect with the unlit end being inside your ear. They kind of make a vaccuum and suck out the wax. Better work.

Gosh this is one sexy sexy load of imagery!

I am now in bed, after taking my meds and waiting to see if my sleeping pill can work a bit tonight. I have my appointment for my first CBT session tomorrow and am hoping to get a little sleep. The appointment is at 10am so i have to be up at about 6:30am. Need to get ready and do all the daft things us crazies tend to do!

Terrified she will pressure me in to a weigh-in under the 'how will you know that stopping laxatives is making you gain if we don't weigh you' thing. But i weigh myself so she isn't getting me on that one

I literally repulse myself at the minute.

I am body checking all through the day. Flexing and relaxing. Breathing in, breathing out. Bending and stretching. Sitting and standing. Its fucking ridiculous and its driving me round the bloody bend.

Happy Wednesday everybody. Happy happy Wednesday :)