Diva :)

Today was fun. I had a really nice time. It started off with an appointment, like most Thursdays seem to do these days. I overslept which put me in a well scatty mood and i was feeling kinda anxious because it knocked my routine all out of whack. I normally wake up about three hours before i have to leave the house. This normally gives me enough time to piss around and stuff - i still always have to rush towards the end though.

I didn't realise that i hadn't put my iPhone on to the docking system properly so it was kinda of half on/half off. This meant that the alarm didn't go off at all, well, not until i woke up and went to press the button to check the time and it pushed it on to the speakers and started cock-a-doodle-dooing at me (that's my alarm tone lol). It was 9am. 9! I had set the alarm for 7 and i don't think i should go in to detail about the reaction i had to the sack of shit speakers. There were a few words starting with a(n) 'f' and i think there may have been something about a 'mother fudger' in there somewhere. My God!

So i ran in to the shower and managed to get ready, do my makeup AND get to my appointment. Don't even ask me how i managed it because i have no clue. I got ready in one hour and forty minutes. Shock!

I went to the appointment and we spoke about this weekend and my plans for my birthday. The plans are to go to see John Bishop at the arena with my best friend and then we are going for a few drinks in town. This is a massive massive deal for me. I haven't been out with her for at least three years. And i haven't been on a proper night out for a long time. I mean, i go out sometimes with my other friend but we normally just go to pubs or whatever. Its not like i am going to any clubs on Saturday but it is just a really big thing.

Ever since this stuff came back, i have struggled with going out and recently, daytimes are hard enough so being out with people everywhere that are going to be wearing very little and just...i am quite anxious.

Other people's figures trigger me ever such a lot and i am scared that this will happen. I am constantly triggered as fuckery throughout the day but with all that fucking skin and a bajillion people of a similar age to me, its going to be so difficult. Argh. I have been thinking of pros and cons and stuff but...well, i am just scared. I am still going and everything but i am scared and i have told Lucie this. She said it will be okay :) Bless her.

I then met Daddy for a wee bit and had a lovely coffee. Well, he had a coffee, i had my Dr Pepper. Lol, i bet Starbucks loved that. We sat and were social but just not so much to eachother. Made me lol that we were both facebooking and i was showing him Twitter on his phone. He is following this comedy twitter that is written as though the Queen has written it. I have good taste, what can i say?!

Then, off to Tesco, Bought some dinner and some Dr Pepper and home :)

I watched a programme last night (i don't want to say what it was called or anything because i do not want a single other person to be triggered like i am/was). It has triggered me to fuckery. I went to Tesco and i am now absolutely terrified that everything has shit in it that i should know about. I was trying to think of 'safe' foods and i could manage fresh vegetables, salad and pop. That's it. I stated getting so fucking panicky. Shit the bed.

Anyways, i wont be watching that again. I wrote fucking notes on the things they were saying and everything. THAT is how triggered i was. I am really scared now.

Fucking stupid thing to watch when my list of safe foods seems to get smaller and fucking smaller. Twat.

Now, i am sat at home watching Bad Girls and i keep playing with my new lipstick. I bought two (one from Topshop and one from MAC) but the purple Topshop one looks black. It doesn't look nice on me. 

I know it looks horrid and this angle is SO weird lol. :)

I really love the MAC one. Its proper fit and just what i was looking for! 

Mac lipstick in shade - Diva.

I also bought a new nail varnish from Topshop and two more Mac eyeshadows. I need to go easy on those bad boys. I now have 11 from the current collection haha. NAUGHTY! I just can't seem to get enough and i don't wear (hahahaha. i obviously meant to say 'buy') clothes so i need makeup to make up for that. Lol i wish i hadn't noticed that mistake and put 'i obviously don't wear clothes' :'')

Tomorrow is my normal home day for the morning and then i am meeting Lucie and Annabella to have an extra birthday. We both always have two birthdays so that we can spend one of them together. We are meeting at about 3 and i will be getting my present from little Annabella and yeah :) Probably go for a coffee/Dr Pepper thing like we normaly do :) Might even have time to take Annabella for her dinner together :)

Then, i think i am popping over to Mum and Dads but i am not sure. I don't really think i can be bothered but we will see how it goes tomorrow and then im going to be spending the night with my sister.

Lovely.

<3

Busy busy bee.

Taking a lot to work behaviours around this next few days. A LOT. Ah well, i can do it... :s I think